


Alphabet Boy

by propertyofpoeandbucky



Series: Bucky Barnes Series/Multi-Part Fics [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 5,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29783994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/propertyofpoeandbucky/pseuds/propertyofpoeandbucky
Summary: You love Bucky Barnes with all of your heart. There are different things about him that you love and here they are in alphabetical order.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes & You, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/You
Series: Bucky Barnes Series/Multi-Part Fics [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189115
Kudos: 4





	1. A

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Set in the “Colors” universe it’s just told by your perspective now. It can be read as prequel but can also be a stand alone series.
> 
> A/N2: this series is unfinished and idk if i'll continue it or not

**A** nxiety. After everything that Bucky had gone through, it’s no surprise that he’s gotten anxiety. You’ve figured out his little ticks when he’s experiencing an anxiety attack. His body becomes rigid. He suddenly has a blank stare. His jaw and hands become clenched. 

It took a lot of trial and errors for you to finally find something that helps him. You recall reading about something called “The 5 Things Method”. It was during movie night that you tested it out. You, Bucky, and the rest of the team were watching Wonder Woman. You noticed that Bucky tensed up when it came time to fighting the Nazis. He was probably taken back to his time in the 40′s. 

You two were sitting on the outskirts of the group, so it would be fine if you tried out this method. You crawled and sat on top of his lap so you were the only thing he could see.

“Hey, Buck. In and out. In and out.”

You noticed he was trying to regulate his breathing, “That’s it. Good. Okay. Now tell me five things you see.”

He looked at you confused, ”Why?”

”C’mon. Please?”

He gave a deep breath an started, “Your face. You have an eyelash on your cheek. You’re wearing your lucky charm necklace. You’re wearing my hoodie that you stole from me. You also have something in your teeth.”

You groaned, “Wow. Okay. Fine. Four things you can touch.”

Bucky’s flesh hand went to your thigh, “Your soft skin.” His hand then went to your favorite blue blanket, “Your furry blanket. The couch and my shirt.”

You nodded, “Good. Now three things you hear?”

“Your voice, your heartbeat, g-gun shots from the tv.”

“Almost done. Two things you smell.”

“Your shampoo that I love and butter.”

“Right. Last one: one thing you taste.”

“Popcorn,” he mumbled.

You looked at him carefully, “How do you feel?”

He gave you a shy smile, “Better. That really helped. Thank you, Y/N.”

You slipped back onto the couch and cuddled up to Bucky, “Anytime, Bucky.”

Bucky always put on this tough, mysterious facade. But you knew him. You saw him and you felt a sense of pride that he let you see this side of him. He always tried to be strong, despite him feeling broken inside.

You admired his struggle with anxiety, and you were thankful that he lets you help him.


	2. B

**Boyish.** That’s how Bucky can be sometimes. Despite his age, there were times where he seemed fairly innocent and youthful. Like when you showed him Snapchat for the first time. He was sitting across the room from you reading the newspaper. You had been using his face to mess with the filters. You’d save many of them. You were giggling quite a lot so Bucky thought best to ask you what you were up to.

“Whatcha up to, Y/N?”

You shrugged and smiled innocently, “Oh nothing.”

He folded the newspaper up and set it on the coffee table, “It ain’t nothing if you’re all gigglin’ about it.” he stood up and made his way to the couch where you sat. He plopped down next to you, “So what mischief are you up to?”

You turned the camera to face you and had it center on Bucky. He looked confused as dog ears and nose appeared on his face, “What’s that?”

“An app called snapchat. Just to send pictures, videos, and messages to your friends or to the public. And they’re only there for limited time.”

“Can I see?” You handed him your phone and watched him mess around with the filters, “Huh. This is pretty neat.” He giggled, “Look, doll! I’m barfing rainbows!” There was a twinkle in his eye that made your heart skip a beat.

You proceeded to make Bucky his own Snapchat account. Why? Because you loved how **boyish** he became when using it.


	3. C

**Charming**. Bucky had this sort of way to always come off as charming. You loved and hated it.

“Man, this guy really doesn’t know how to dance,” you heard Bucky comment through your earpiece.

“Buck-”

“Look at him, Stevie. All hands, no sense of rhythm!”

As you danced with the target, you couldn’t help but chuckle causing the man you were currently dancing with to question you, “Something amusing, beautiful?” he shot you a charming grin, but not Bucky’s kind of charming. 

You gave a ditzy kind of giggle, “I just never expected I’d be dancing with the CEO of Oscorp.”

Norman Osborn gave you a sly grin, “Well, I for one didn’t expect to be dancing with such a beautiful lady.”

You heard Bucky scoff, “This guy has no game.”

“Oh like you have game, Barnes?” Sam challenged.

You heard Bucky reply with, “Watch and learn.” You figured he’d go up to some random woman and try to woo her, but no. He came up to you instead.

He tapped Norman Osborn on the shoulder and cleared his throat, “Mind if I cut in?”

The man stepped away from you, “Not at all. I suppose I should get back to my guests.” He kissed the back of your hand, “It was a pleasure, my angel. I hope to see you around.” With that he was gone and Bucky had taken his place.

You rolled your eyes, “You’re so judgemental.”

Bucky shrugged, “I hate guys like that. Thinking they can do whatever they want to ladies just ‘cause they’re rich. He didn’t even know how to charm ya.”

You smirked, “Alright. Go ahead. So me what ya got.”

Bucky twirled you around and then dipped you. His lips hovered over yours, “To be charming, you have to appear confident. Like you know what you’re doing.” He pulled you back up and twirled you again only for you to end up back in his arms, chest to chest, “You have to be a smooth talker.”

“Examples?”

“I like how the rays of light from the chandelier falls upon your necklace. It makes it really shine, but not as much as your eyes. Your eyes are…captivating. Hypnotizing.” you noticed his voice transformed to a low, deep, whisper, “I’d like to take you out stargazing. To show those balls of burning gas that they got nothing on your eyes.”

You felt like you were melting. You hung onto every single word that was spoken to you. Bucky lowered his mouth to your hear, “And just like that, you’re putty in my hands.” He pulled back and smirked at you.

You narrowed your eyes at him, “Alright. You’ve proved your point.”

Bucky chuckled, “Wilson?”

“Yeah, yeah. Flash a smile, twirl a girl, and they’re falling at your feet. Whatever, Tin Man. Still got more game than you.”

Bucky continued to sway to the music with you, “If you need anymore lessons on how to be charming, doll, just gimme a call.”

If it weren’t for Bucky holding you, you’d most definitely be falling at his feet. Ugh. Why did he have to be so **charming**?


	4. D

**Dogs.** Bucky adored dogs. They were so fun and pure. Every time he saw one, you could see his eyes light up. More often than not, whenever you and he were out and about in public, if Bucky saw a dog, he’d stop to pet it. He’d spend as much time as he could being around whatever dog he saw.

“And Steve being the little punk he th-” He stopped mid-sentence and was staring at something passed you. 

You turned and zeroed in on a beautiful yellow Labrador Retriever. You chuckled and faced Bucky. You took his hand and immediately led him to the dog. You approached the owners, an old couple, “’Scuse me, is it okay if we pet your dog?”

The old woman smiled, “Of course! Our Sadie loves the attention.” 

Bucky immediately knelt next to the dog and began to stroke the dog’s hair, “She’s so pretty.” Sadie licked Bucky’s face and he chuckled.

“Careful, Sadie. Don’t wanna get your slobber all over the nice man.”

Bucky, while smiling, wiped his face, “It’s fine, sir. I don’t mind it. I adore dogs.”

“You two have any?”

You shook your head, “Our..landlord won’t allow any pets. He’s very keen on keeping his building pristine.”

The old man shook his head, “What a shame. Seems like your boyfriend would love one.”

You laughed, “One? He’d like a hundred!” hearing him call Bucky your boyfriend made you a little embarrassed. You hoped you weren’t blushing too hard. You spent the next ten minutes talking to the couple. 

Bucky was allowed to play fetch with Sadie and he was having a ton of fun. You’ve ever seen him so carefree and genuinely happy before. It brought a big smile to your face.

The old woman, who’s name you learned was Eileen, pat your knee, “I still look at Eric like that,” she gave a sigh, “I miss being young, but I love growing old with him.”

Eric shot his wife a wink, “Right back at ya, sugar.” The gesture reminded you too much of Bucky.

Speaking of Bucky, he approached you, panting, with Sadie right behind him, “Man, I’m exhausted. You hungry, doll?”

You nodded, “A bit.” 

Sadie sat by Eileen’s feet. Bucky pat her head one last time, “Nice meeting you, Sadie. I had fun. And thank you for letting me play with her.” He shook hands with the couple.

Jack pat Bucky’s hand, “No, thank you. With us being old, we can’t really run around with her anymore. So thanks for playing with her. I hope you two have a good rest of your day.”

“You two!” You waved back at the couple and hooked your arm around Bucky’s, “Have fun?”

“So much fun…I want a dog.” he said sadly.

You chuckled, “I’ll see if we can get through Tony.”

Bucky kissed your temple, “Thanks.”

And you really, really, really tried to convince Tony. Why? Because Bucky loved **dogs** and he deserved one and you wanted to see him genuinely happy all the time.


	5. E

**Eyes.** James Buchanan Barnes has been incredibly blessed with beautiful eyes. And these eyes meant a lot to you. 

“Alright! I’m in the East Wing! Buck, what’s your status?” you say into your comms.

“Ran into a little trouble, but I got it covered,” you could practically see the smug look he had on his face.

“God damn show off,” you heard Sam say which caused you to chuckle. You cautiously made your way down a dimly lit hallway. You felt a bit irked. It was like you were in an episode of The Walking Dead and you were anxiously waiting for a zombie to come out and attack y-

“Ah!” You immediately fired a shot at a figure that turned the corner.

“Woah! Y/N! It’s me!” Bucky called from his cover.

He cautiously peeked around the corner and you gave him a sheepish grin, “Sorry, Buck. Got too into my head.”

“Zombies?” He asked.

And you chuckled while nodding, “Yeah. Knew it was a bad idea to watch that last night.”

Bucky grinned, “It’s okay, doll. I got ya covered if any zombies come at us.”

You rolled your eyes and continued on your way, “My hero.” You then heard a boom and the building began to shake.

“Buck! Y/N! A bomb just went off! The building’s collapsing! You gotta get out of there!”

“Copy that!” Bucky exclaimed and he started to run back the way he came. You ran after him, hearing the sound of ceilings and walls falling. You were both, literally, running for your lives.

You were just a little bit behind Bucky when the ground started crumbling under you. You skidded to a halt. Bucky turned around and his eyes were filled with so much fear. Those beautiful blue eyes, “Y/N!” You were both examining the situation quickly, “Can you jump it?”

You shook your head, “I-I can’t! Just go!”

Bucky suddenly felt like he was back in the 40′s after Steve had found him, “Not without you!”

“Buck! Y/N! Where are you guys?!”

“The ground collapsed! We’re separated!”

“Bucky, just go!” You shouted and you just stood there, staring at him. Trying to remember every bit of him. If this was how you were going to die, you wanted to die looking at your best friend and the man you loved. You stared into his eyes, his distressed blue eyes. They would be the last thing you saw before you would die.

Bucky was pleading, “Like hell I’m leaving you! I’m coming over there!” Bucky backed up a little. He was ready to run and jump until the floor fell apart from underneath you making you fall, “Y/N!” Bucky screamed. He was ready to jump down but Steve caught his arm.

“We gotta go!”

“No! We can’t! I can’t lea-”

“We got her, Barnes! Now get the hell out of there!” he heard Sam shout.

“W-What?” Steve just pulled Bucky, practically dragging him to a balcony where the quinjet was hovering. They both jumped onto the ramp just before the building crumbled beneath their feet. 

Bucky walked further up the ramp, his heart pounding. He froze when he saw your unconscious body in Hulk’s arms. He rushed over to you and pulling you into his arms. He wiped away some of the dust off your face, “Y/N?”

You slowly opened your eyes and the first thing you saw was Bucky’s beautiful blue eyes, “Bucky? Am I dead?”

He shook his head, his eyes watering, “No. God, no.” He kissed your forehead, “i thought I lost you.”

You looked over your shoulder and gave a small smile to the Hulk, “Thanks, Big Guy.” Hulk nodded and gave a grunt.

You looked back at Bucky and stared into his eyes. You were okay. You almost died, but you were okay. Staring up at Bucky, you knew you would be okay. In his **eyes** , you felt safe and you saw home.


	6. F

Bucky Barnes could be such a **flirt** sometimes. You loved and hated it. Depending on is mood, he could make you blush like a bright red tomato. 

“Hey, beautiful.” Bucky mumbled as he walked into the kitchen and kissed your head. You ducked your head, trying to cover your blushing cheeks. You heard him chuckle, “You’re so goddamn adorable, you know that, Y/N?”

You groaned, “Stop it, Buck!”

He laughed, “Why? You are! Sometimes I just wanna squeeze the hell outta ya ‘cause you’re so cute.” You ducked your head again and began to bite your lip. Bucky groaned, “Now, doll, don’t do that. Biting your lip does things to me.” He said with a smirk.

You stomped your feet, “Stop flirting with meee!” You whined as you blushed harder.

He shook his head, “Not gonna happen, beautiful. I love reminding ya of what an amazing dame you are. Besides,” he stepped closer to you, “I love how pink your cheeks get.” he said as he grazed your finger along your cheek.

Your eyes widened and Bucky burst out laughing. You crossed your arms over your chest, pouting, “Why must you be such a goddamn flirt, Bucky Barnes?”

“You love it, sweetheart.” he gave you a wink and went to go making his coffee for the morning.

And you just stood there because Bucky’s flirting had such an affect on you, you didn’t know what to do. You hated it because he made you look like a fool. But you loved it because it gave you nice, warm feelings in your chest and stomach.


	7. G

You couldn’t understand how someone as smooth, charming, and flirty as Bucky could be absolutely **GOOFY**. It was so unreal, when you two were close enough, to find out that Bucky was such a weirdo. 

You found this out when you were in the gym on the treadmill. You were just watching Netflix on your tablet as you were jogging. You saw movement in your peripherals and figured that it was just someone else looking to do some cardio. 

It wasn’t until five minutes later, when you felt like someone’s eyes were on you, that that person was Bucky. You looked to your left and saw that he was running sideways on the treadmill. You gave him a questioning look and he grinned. he then moved to running backwards, his eyes still on you. You couldn’t help but giggle, which, unknowingly to you, spurred him on more. He was too into trying to get you to laugh that he didn’t realize one of his shoelaces were coming undone. 

“Ah!” Bucky yelped as he tripped and flew off the treadmill. You immediately jumped off your own and rushed to him.

“Bucky!” You knelt beside him and helped him sit up, “Are you okay?! Is anything hurting?”

He winced as he rubbed his now bruise butt, “Yeah, my pride.”

You couldn’t help but smirk, “Well that’s what you get for goofing off.”

He shrugged, “Worth it.”

You helped each other out and you rolled your eyes while shaking your head, “Goofball.”

Bucky smiled wide, “Only for you.” He nudged your shoulder and went to go hit the showers. 


	8. H

**Henleys.** You absolutely loooved Bucky’s Henleys. You tried to steal them as often as you can. You loved how they were like a dress on you. They kept you warm and they smelled like Bucky.

Whenever he found you in one of his Henleys, he tried to come off as annoyed, but you saw it. You knew he wasn’t as annoyed as he seemed. You always saw a softness in his eyes when he saw you in his clothes.

“Y/N, doll, did you wanna come o-oh.” Bucky had walked in on you on your bed coloring in your adult coloring book, lounging around in his maroon Henley. He sighed and walked over to you, sitting at the edge of the bed, “Really? Again?” He asked thumbing the fabric.

You pouted at him, “I can’t help it. They’re so warm and fuzzy.”

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh, “Yeah, very warm and fuzzy.”

“Anyway, what were you saying?”

Bucky was still thumbing the fabric of his shirt, he pulled back, like he got shocked, and cleared his throat, “Oh! Uh, right! I was wondering if you wanted to come out with me and Steve for lunch?”

You straightened up, “Sure! Lemme just put some pants on!” you scrambled out of bed and rushed to your dresser to pull out a pair of black leggings. You quickly pulled them on and slipped on some socks and shoes, “Okay! Ready!”

Bucky chuckled, “Really? You’re gonna go out wearing my shirt and leggings? What will people think?”

You shrugged, “They’ll probably think that I’m very comfortable and give no fucks.”

Bucky laughed as he guided you out of your room, hand on the small of your back, “That’s my girl.”

You softly smiled to yourself, liking the way Bucky called you his girl. Really, you hoped that people would get it. That you wanted to be Bucky’s girl, that you were his girl. And wearing his Henleys was the best way to do it. Right?


	9. I

**Indecisive.** Bucky was just so indecisive when it came to things. He always had to ask for your help or opinion.

“Doll, what do you think I should get?”

“Do you think the chicken would taste better or the beef?”

“What looks better on me: maroon or navy?”

There were so many choices in life and Bucky couldn’t seem to decide on any of them. It was annoying and adorable at the same time. But the worst of it all is when you’d go to coffeeshops together.

There you were at a quaint coffee shop in downtown Brooklyn. You and Bucky were third in line and he still couldn’t decide.

“What the heck is a chai latte?” Bucky asked with his eyes squinting and his arms crossed over his chest.

Uninterested, you reply, “Chai is a spice. The latte is milk.”

“Is it any good?” he asks while still looking at the menu.

You shrug, “I think it is.”

Bucky made a face and then asked, “Okay…what about a white chocolate mocha?”

You facepalm, “Seriously, Buck? Just choose!”

He couldn’t help but laugh. He knew how you felt about him being so indecisive, “’M sorry, sweetheart, but back in my day we only had two types of coffee: black or with milk. That’s it! Don’t know where the hell all these abominations came from!”

You frowned at him, “Hey! My caramel macchiato is one of those abominations and you shall speak no ill words of it!”

Bucky smirked and ruffled your hair, “Sorry, kid.” 

Next thing you know, it was you turn to order. You ordered first, to give Bucky some time to decide. The barista then looked at him for his order. He smiled and said, “Same as hers.”

You looked at him wide-eyed as you paid and went to go find a table, “You’re unbelievable,” you mumble.

His eyes crinkled with delight, “Aw! Thanks, doll!”

You glared at him, “I didn’t mean that in a nice way.”

“Oh…HEY!”

It always came down to this. Bucky was incredibly **indecisive** , yet in the end, he’d always get what you preferred because he says that “your choices are always the best”. And that always made you feel tingly inside.


	10. J

Bucky had this black leather **jacket** he favored…and you favored. He always looked so good in it. So cool and suave…….and sexy. 

It was a cooler day and you and Bucky were spending some time outside. You had on just a flannel for a cover up. 

You were walking around the city, your arm looped around Bucky’s when you got a chill. You shivered and Bucky stopped, “You cold?”

You shook your head, “No, it’s fine. Just a strong breeze. Let’s keep going.” Bucky hesitantly continued to walk with you. 

About ten minutes later, you shivered again as the wind blew passed you. Bucky immediately started to shrug off his jacket. You opposed, “Buck, no! It’s okay!”

“Y/N, you’re shivering besides, the cold never bothered me anyway,” he sang the last part like Elsa from Frozen, which made you giggle. 

You immediately cuddled up inside Bucky’s jacket, it was very warm and it smelled like him. You looked at Bucky and saw him smiling, “What?”

He shook his head, “Nothing. It’s just you look good with my jacket on.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, “Yeah? Do I look cool and suave like you?”

“Nah, you look so much better.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and kissed your temple. Sure, Bucky’s jacket may have brought you warmth, but it was Bucky himself that made you feel warmer.


	11. K

**Kisses.** It seemed to you that Bucky liked giving you kisses. He couldn’t go a day without giving you a kiss on the head or cheek and you always found it so endearing. It also made butterflies erupt in your stomach, but you wouldn’t tell him that, no. 

Like clockwork, every morning, you’d be sitting at the table eating. Bucky would come in, hair damp from his shower after his run. He’s mumble a boring “Morning,” to everyone else but when he got to you, it was a cheerful, “Good morning, doll,” paired up with a kiss on the cheek or head, whatever he felt like, you supposed. He’d then go to grab a plate of food, missing how you tried to hold a goofy grin. 

He’d also like giving you presses to your cheek whenever he came back from missions you weren’t on. As soon as the ramp to the quinjet opened, he’d come running out, meeting you halfway. No matter how beaten, bruised, and tired he was, he always ran to you, catching you in his arms. He’d then hug you tight and press multiples little kisses on your cheek. 

This all started after a mission went wrong and Bucky nearly died. You almost lost him and Bucky, pressing reassuring kisses to your cheek continuously murmured, “It’s okay, doll. I’m here. I’m here. I’m safe.”

Bucky also often kissed you goodnight. Whether you fell asleep on him or in your room, Bucky made it routine to kiss you goodnight before he himself went to bed. You even felt him press a kiss to your forehead when you were sound asleep. The faint sound of “Goodnight, doll,” and something else that might’ve sounded like….nevermind. 

It didn’t matter when or where he kissed you, Bucky’s kisses always made you feel loved. They made you feel safe. Therefore, you never took Bucky’s kisses for granted.


	12. L

**Laughter** is music to your ears. Well, mostly, a specific laugh. Bucky’s laugh and how he laughs always brings a smile to your face. It’s something you can never get tired of because you love it just that much. 

Bucky has different laughs, like most. When he finds something somewhat amusing, he will give a low chuckle and his shoulders will quake a bit. There’s a softness in his eyes and a faint smile on his lips. 

When he’s being mischievous or misbehaving, he’ll giggle. His body will coil up into itself. He’ll hunch over. He reminds you of a much more attractive looking Igor.

When Bucky finds something hilarious, he goes all out. His eyes crinkle, his mouth opens wide, and he lets out a boisterous laugh. On most occasions, he’ll throw his head or whole body back as he laughs. Amusement overcomes him and it’s one of the best things you experience. 

Like now.

There’s downtime in-between missions. Everyone is gathered in the living room of the compound talking, snacking, and drinking. You really enjoyed moments like these because you and everyone else gets to wind down, relax, and let loose. 

You’re sitting next to Peter Parker, the kid is telling you how he makes his web fluid until an all too boisterous laugh interrupts him. You both look across the way to see Steve sitting next to a laughing Bucky. Steve is just giggling at his friend as Bucky’s entire body shakes, his face crinkled, and laughter emits from his mouth.

Peter chuckles, “Looks like Mr. Barnes is having a good time.”

You fondly smile at the brunette super soldier, “Yeah, it seems so.”

The young man beside you takes notice of the loving look on your face and he just smirks, “You love him a lot, don’t you?”

You look back at Peter and nodded, “Yeah and don’t worry, I’ll tell him…someday.”


	13. M

You were always in awe of how quick Bucky could change the **magazine** of a gun. With his skillset and super soldier speed, it’s no surprise to you by how swift and quick he changes the empty magazine to a new one. 

You pause your shooting for a moment in the range to just watch how he fires shot after shot hitting the weak points of the dummy some yards away and then proceed to unclip the empty mag and insert a new one in. 

Feeling his eyes on you, Bucky stops and looks to his left, “Something wrong?”

With wide eyes, you shook your head, setting down the firearm in your hand on the table beside you, “No. It’s just…cool how good you are at that. Well, not cool how you came to be so skilled in this art, but just the…concept…of…it?? I don’t know. You just look cool.”

Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle, “You think I look cool? Me? A deadly ex-assassin is…cool?”

You smirk as you nod your head, leaning against the partition that separated you two, “Very cool, Bucky.”

He hummed, lifting up his flesh arm holding the gun and then firing off the rest of his mag into the dummy, hitting it right in it’s stomach. No stray shots whatsoever. 

Still looking at you, he unclips the magazine and places a new one inside, firing off the shots again, still hitting the exact same spot with precision. When there were no more bullets left, the carefully placed the gun on the table beside him. 

“Most people see me and see what I do and they don’t think I’m very cool at all. They think I’m dangerous, a monster Y/N.”

You still looked at him softly, his blue eyes starting to fill with guilt and regret. You reach over, slipping your hand into his metal one and giving him a soft squeeze, “I think you know by now that I’m not like most people, Bucky.”

A small relieved smile appears on his face and he sighs, “Oh yeah. I’m well aware, doll.” he squeezes your hand back and then grabs your gun, handing it to you, “Now come on. Continue practicing.”

You took the gun from his hands with no hesitation, “Only if you teach me how to change a magazine as quick as you.”

He chuckles and raises his gun towards the dummy, “We’ll see.” 

You both fire your own shots at your targets, but you pause again to watch him change the magazine in his gun in complete awe and adoration. 


	14. N

**Nightmares.** With the history and past that Bucky has, it comes as no surprise to you when he gets nightmares. He doesn’t get them as much but every once in a while…

“Agent L/N, Agent Barnes requires your assistance,” FRIDAY announced, waking you up.

You get up with a drag, grabbing your favorite fluffy blue blanket and sleepily walking down the hall to Bucky’s room. Through the door, you hear him shouting, “No! No! I’m sorry! Don’t!” along with some mumbled pleas. 

You don’t bother knocking, instead walking through the door and over to a whimpering Bucky who’s tossing and turning in bed. You note the sheen of sweat covering his torso, telling you that this nightmare was a particularly bad one. 

“Don’t! Stop! No! Y/N!” your heart broke hearing your name fall painfully from Bucky’s lips.

Wrapping your blanket over your shoulders you turn on the bedside lamp and then lay down on top of Bucky. You’ve seen a video of a service dog do that to their owner so suffered from PTSD. You tried it once for Bucky and found that it helped him a lot.

He continued to wiggle underneath you. You nuzzled your face into his neck, whispering soothing words, “I’m here, Bucky. I’m okay. You’re safe. We’re safe, Bucky.” while murmuring this words, your fingers glided over his brow line, smoothing out the wrinkled expression on his face, “I’m okay. We’re safe.”

His cries died down to whimpering, his body then stilled and you felt his arms wrapped around you. You weren’t sure if he was still asleep, but you continued the words, “You’re okay. You’re safe. I’m here. I’m okay. We’re safe.”

“Y/N,” he rasped.

You sat up to see Bucky awake, his eyes watery, “Hey.”

“Hey,” he mumbled.

You reached to his bedside, grabbing the water bottle for him. You moved off him so that he could sit up. You opened the bottle for him and he took it from you, gulping down nearly the entire thing.

“Thanks,” he sighed, running a hand down his still sweaty face, “I’m gonna take a shower.”

“I’ll be here,” you yawned, crawling under Bucky’s covers while your own blanket was still wrapped around you. 

Bucky took a quick shower and when he stepped out, you were, surprisingly, still awake. He slips back into bed, turning to face you, “Why are you still awake?”

“Just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” you mumbled, really trying to fight off the sleep.

He hummed, “I am now that you’re here,” he whispered. He rolled over to turn off the light and then rolled back to you, “Thank you.”

“‘F course, Buck. Night,” you sighed.

Bucky scoot closer to you, hand on your hip and lips pressed to your hairline, “Good night, doll.”

No matter how tired you were or how busy, you would always be there to help Bucky through his nightmares. 


	15. O

You really appreciated how **observant** Bucky was. Honestly, for the amount of time you two spend with each other, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he knows you better than you know yourself. Like today. 

You’re quiet. A lot more quiet than usual. You’re not engaging with anyone really. You’re just staring down at your breakfast that, usually, you’d have finished by now because it’s Bucky’s blueberry pancakes that you like so much. Bucky notices how you’re fidgeting with your necklace, your “lucky charm” as you like to call it. You always do that when you’re anxious or something’s bothering you. 

“Hey, Y/N and I are gonna hang out on the balcony,” Bucky murmurs quietly and you don’t even seem to hear him. 

He places his empty plate into the sink and then rushes back to your room, grabbing your fluffy blue blanket and coming back to the dining area. He drapes the blanket over your shoulders, which causes you to look up curiously. 

“Come outside with me for a bit?” he asks, holding his metal hand to you.

You give him a curt nod, placing your hand in his and following him out to the balcony. He brings you to one of the couches, sitting down and opening his arms out to you. You place yourself beside him, allowing him to wraps his arms around you and pull your close. 

As soon as you feel the warmth of his embrace, the dam breaks and you start to cry. Bucky doesn’t ask what’s wrong. He knows better than anybody that sometimes your mind gets the best of you, that sometimes you get tired of fighting off the dark thoughts and you just let them take over you. He knows that right now you don’t want to talk. You just want to be held and let everything out. 

So he holds you, resting his cheek on your head as you cry. You use your blanket as your tissue and Bucky fights to keep a smile from his face. Instead, reminding himself to throw your blanket into the wash later. 

Neither you or Bucky know how long you’re on that balcony for. But it’s been a while, that you’re sure of. Your face is no longer wet with tears. You don’t feel that heaviness on your chest or the overwhelming sense of dread. You feel lighter. 

You eventually pull yourself away from Bucky and you look up to see his eyes filled with concern. You sigh, “Just one of those days.”

“I know, doll,” he leans in and pecks your forehead, “Feel better?”

“So much. Thanks. You always seem to know what I need.”

He shoots you a shy grin and shrugs, “What’re best friends for?” he stands up, offering you his hand like before, “Are ya gonna eat my blueberry pancakes now or are ya gonna break my heart and pass?”

You roll your eyes with a snort, “I’ll eat them now, you dork.”

“Good,” he says, wrapping his arm around your shoulder while you head back inside, “Let’s just hope Sam didn’t eat all of them.”

Sam, it turns out, did eat all of them. So Bucky took it upon himself to make you more while you sat at the counter watching him. There was a lightness in your chest now and you couldn’t help but feel so appreciative that Bucky was observant enough to know what you needed.


End file.
